In this guide
A hospital stay is hard on any family. For an observant parent it brings extra worries: what will they eat, how will Shabbat work, and will the staff respect how they live? Most of this can be planned in the first day or two, and Toronto's Jewish community has real help ready for you.
This guide is practical, not a guide to halacha. For any halachic question, ask your family's rabbi.
On the first day: tell the care team
Hospital staff want to help, but they only know what you tell them. On the first day, ask to speak with the nurse in charge and tell them:
- Food: your parent eats only kosher food, and whether they can have sealed kosher meals from outside.
- Shabbat and Yom Tov: what your parent will and will not do, such as using the call button, the phone or the bed controls, and who will be with them.
- Modesty and personal care: whether a caregiver of the same gender is preferred for washing and dressing, and how your parent covers their hair.
- Prayer: tefillin or tallis, a quiet time for davening, and any religious items that should not be moved.
- One family contact: who the hospital should call first, so updates do not get lost between siblings.
Ask for these to be written in the care plan, so the next shift sees them too. Many hospitals also have a spiritual care department; ask whether a Jewish chaplain or community volunteer visits.
Kosher food
- Bikur Cholim's kosher pantries. Bikur Cholim of Toronto keeps kosher pantries with food and Shabbat supplies in many Toronto-area hospitals, including Sunnybrook, Mount Sinai, North York General, Humber River, Mackenzie Health, Cortellucci Vaughan, Toronto General, Princess Margaret, St. Michael's, SickKids and Holland Bloorview. Some open only with a key or a nurse's help, and locations change, so check their current list or call them.
- Delivered meals. Bikur Cholim also prepares kosher meals and delivers them to hospitals and rehab centres. Call early in the stay.
- From home. Bring sealed food, clearly labelled with your parent's name, room and date. Ask the unit where it can be stored.
- Mistakes: if something is mixed up, set it aside and ask your rabbi. It is better to pause than to guess.
Planning Shabbat in hospital
Plan by Thursday, not on Friday afternoon.
- Food for Shabbat: meals, grape juice or wine for Kiddush, and challah, from the pantry, Bikur Cholim or home.
- Candles: hospitals generally do not allow open flames. Bikur Cholim provides hospital-approved battery candles.
- Doors and elevators: many hospital doors open automatically. Bikur Cholim publishes a "Shabbos in the Hospital" booklet with practical details, including eruvim and getting into the building.
- Staying nearby: Bikur Cholim can help with accommodation near the hospital for family members over Shabbat.
- Who is there: decide who stays with your parent, and who answers the phone after Shabbat if the hospital called.
Someone at the bedside
Families cannot always be there, especially overnight, on Shabbat or during a long stay. A person at the bedside can help your parent eat, notice when something changes, keep them company, and tell the family what is happening.
- Family and friends: make a simple schedule, so no one burns out and no shift is empty.
- Community volunteers: Bikur Cholim and shuls often have volunteers who visit.
- A private caregiver: a personal support worker can sit with your parent for hours or overnight. RightKind Care™ arranges hospital bedside support, and for observant families we prepare the caregiver for your parent's practice, as described on our cultural and halachic care page.
When something goes wrong
If you are worried about care or communication, start with the nurse in charge. If that does not solve it, ask for the hospital's patient relations office. If it is still not resolved, Ontario's Patient Ombudsman takes complaints about hospitals.
Planning the way home
Discharge can come quickly. Start asking early what your parent will need at home, who will help in the first days, and whether the kitchen and Shabbat routine need to change. Our hospital discharge checklist walks through it, and our guide to keeping a kosher kitchen and Shabbat at home covers life after.
Questions families ask
Will the hospital provide kosher meals?
Ask the unit on the first day what kosher options they have. Many families also use Bikur Cholim's delivered meals and hospital pantries, or bring sealed food from home.
Can someone stay with my parent over Shabbat?
Ask the unit about its visitor rules for overnight stays. If family cannot be there, a community volunteer or a private caregiver can help.
Who do I ask about a halachic question in hospital?
Your family's rabbi. The hospital and caregivers can tell you what is possible on the unit; the rabbi tells you what to do.
Sources
Moshe started RightKind Care after his own family needed extra help at home. He writes these guides so other families have the plain answers he wished he had. Read his story →
