In this guide
If you are reading this at the end of a long day, you are not alone. Statistics Canada found that 56% of unpaid caregivers felt tired, 44% felt worried or anxious and 37% felt overwhelmed in 2022. Those caring for a parent gave a median of 8 hours a week, and many give far more.
This guide skips the general advice and goes straight to what you can actually arrange in Ontario this week.
A quick check: is this burnout?
It builds slowly, so it is easy to miss in yourself. Two or three of these most weeks is a sign to get help now:
- You are exhausted even after sleeping, or you cannot sleep.
- You snap at people, then feel guilty.
- You have dropped friends, exercise or your own appointments.
- You feel nobody else can do it right, so you never stop.
- You dread the next call or visit.
If you feel hopeless or low most days, talk to your family doctor. If you are in crisis, call 911.
The breaks Ontario actually offers
| Option | What it is | What it costs | How to get it |
|---|---|---|---|
| Short stay in a long-term care home | Your parent stays in a long-term care home while you rest, travel or recover: up to 60 days a stay, and no more than 90 days in a calendar year | Ontario pays for the care; you pay the accommodation | Apply through Ontario Health atHome, 1-833-515-1234. Your parent must need round-the-clock nursing care or frequent checks |
| Adult day program | A supervised day of activities, meals and company, one or more days a week | A fee per day. For example, the City-run program at Cummer Lodge in North York lists $22 a day, with a subsidy based on income | Publicly funded programs need a referral from Ontario Health atHome |
| Respite at home through Ontario Health atHome | A personal support worker comes in so you can step out | Fully covered if your parent qualifies | Ask for an assessment through Ontario Health atHome |
| Private respite | A caregiver for a few hours, overnight or a whole week, booked when you need it | You pay by the hour | Call a home care agency; no referral or waiting list |
Public options can take time to arrange and the hours are set by Ontario Health atHome, so many families use them together with private help. RightKind Care™ is a private home care company: our coordinators arrange respite care and companionship, matched to your parent so you can actually switch off.
If you need time off work
Employment Insurance has caregiving benefits that replace part of your income while you care for someone:
- Up to 15 weeks to care for an adult who is critically ill or injured.
- Up to 26 weeks to care for someone at the end of life.
- Family members can share the weeks, at the same time or one after another, and you do not need to live with the person.
A doctor or nurse practitioner has to certify the condition, and a long-term condition usually only qualifies after a new, serious change in health. Check the details and apply on the Government of Canada's EI caregiving page.
Share the load: a 20-minute family meeting
Burnout often comes from one person holding everything. One short meeting with siblings or close family can change that.
- List every task, small ones too: appointments, prescriptions, groceries, bills, laundry, the evening phone call, overnights.
- Give each task one owner and one day. "Can you take Mom to her Tuesday appointment?" works better than "Let me know if you can help."
- People far away still count. They can pay a bill, book appointments, order groceries online or call your parent every evening.
- Use one group chat for updates, so you are not repeating the same news five times.
- Meet again in a month and adjust.
Planning your first real break
A break only helps if you can stop worrying while you take it.
- Write a one-page routine sheet: medication times, meals, what calms your parent, who to call in an emergency.
- Try a short first shift while you are home, so your parent meets the caregiver with you there.
- Then leave, for two or three hours at first, at the same time each week so it becomes routine.
- Book longer breaks early: a family simcha, a vacation, a weekend away. Respite stays and private caregivers both fill up around holidays.
Who to call
- Ontario Caregiver Organization helpline, 1-833-416-2273: free, 24 hours a day, with live chat on weekdays. Information and referrals for caregivers; it is not a crisis line.
- Ontario Health atHome, 1-833-515-1234: assessments, respite stays, adult day program referrals and care at home.
- Your family doctor, for your own health, not just your parent's.
- Your community. For Jewish families in Toronto, Bikur Cholim offers kosher meals, rides to medical appointments and free loans of equipment like walkers and wheelchairs.
Questions families ask
Is it selfish to take a break from caring for my parent?
No. Rest keeps you healthy enough to keep caring, and many parents are relieved to see their children less exhausted.
How do I convince my parent to accept help from someone else?
Start with something small and specific, introduce the caregiver as help for you as much as for them, and keep the same person where possible.
Can I get paid while I take time off to care for a parent?
Possibly. EI caregiving benefits can replace part of your income for up to 15 weeks for a critically ill adult, or 26 weeks at the end of life, if you qualify. Check the Government of Canada's EI caregiving page.
Sources
- Statistics Canada: More than half of women provide care to children and care-dependent adults in Canada, 2022
- Ontario: Respite care
- Government of Canada: EI caregiving benefits
- Cummer Lodge Adult Day Program (Ontario health services directory)
- Ontario Caregiver Organization helpline (Central Health Line listing)
- Bikur Cholim Toronto: services
Moshe started RightKind Care after his own family needed extra help at home. He writes these guides so other families have the plain answers he wished he had. Read his story →
