In this guide
Sooner or later, many families face the same question: can Mom or Dad keep living at home, or is it time for a retirement home? There is no single right answer. It depends on how much help is needed, how safe the home is, what the family can manage, and above all, what your parent wants.
This guide explains the main options in Ontario in plain words, and gives you questions to talk through together.
The three main options in Ontario
Staying at home, with help
Your parent stays in their own home, and help comes to them. That help can be publicly funded home care arranged by Ontario Health atHome, private help that the family arranges, or both. Support can be as small as a few hours a week of companionship, or as large as care around the clock.
A retirement home
Retirement homes in Ontario are typically privately owned and are regulated by the Retirement Homes Regulatory Authority (RHRA), which licenses homes, inspects them and handles complaints. Residents pay the full cost of their accommodation plus any care services they choose to buy from the home, such as meals, help with bathing and dressing, medication administration or dementia care. Residents keep full access to publicly funded health care.
According to the Ontario government, retirement home residents are usually more independent and need less medical care than people in long-term care. You apply directly to a retirement home.
Long-term care
Long-term care homes are for people who need nursing care around the clock. You do not apply to a long-term care home directly: you apply through Ontario Health atHome (310-2222).
Questions to talk through together
- What does your parent want? Start here. A plan they agree with works far better than one they resist.
- How much help is needed, and when? Is it a few tasks a day, help at night, or supervision most of the time?
- Is the home safe? Stairs, the bathroom, living alone, wandering or getting lost. If the home is the sticking point, changes such as grab bars, a ramp or a safer bathroom may help your parent stay. RightKind Home Access can visit and quote the work.
- What matters most day to day? Their own kitchen, a garden, a shul or community nearby, a pet, privacy, being close to family.
- How is the family coping? If one person is carrying everything, that is part of the decision too.
- What does each option cost? For most families this is the biggest question. Ask a retirement home for the full monthly cost, including every care package your parent would need, then compare it with the cost of the hours of home care they would actually use. Ask each option what is included, and get the price in writing. Our page on what home care costs explains our rates, and our guide to paying for home care in Ontario covers tax credits.
- What will fill their days? Company, activity and a reason to get up in the morning matter as much as personal care. See the section on company and activities at home below.
When staying at home tends to work well
- Your parent wants to stay, and the home can be made safe.
- The help needed fits into predictable hours: mornings, evenings, a few days a week.
- Family or friends are nearby and involved.
- Familiar routines, food, and community matter a lot to your parent, for example cultural or religious routines that are easier to keep at home.
When a retirement home may be the better fit
- Your parent feels lonely or isolated at home, and the family has not been able to arrange enough company and activity there (see the next section).
- Meals and housekeeping have become hard to manage.
- They would like to stop worrying about a house.
- Home care hours would be so many that a retirement home is simpler.
Company and activities at home
One reason families choose a retirement home is the activity: group programs, outings, people to talk to. That is a real benefit, and it is worth knowing that care at home can offer much of it too.
A good home care agency does more than personal care. It can build an engagement plan around what your parent enjoys, whether that is cards or board games, puzzles, music, conversation, cooking together, reading the paper, a walk, or a project they care about. A companion who gets to know your parent can bring that routine into the house every day.
A companion can also go along to adult day programs and community programs, take part with your parent, and help them settle in. In some cases the companion can drive them there, depending on the arrangement. If transportation matters, ask any agency exactly how it works and what it covers before you decide.
For a parent who is isolated, this can be the difference between a long, quiet day and a full one, without leaving a home they love.
It does not have to be either-or
Many families combine options. A parent might live in a retirement home and have a private companion for extra hours, or stay at home with publicly funded visits plus private help for the gaps. Needs also change, so the right answer this year may not be the right answer in three years.
At RightKind Care™, we arrange vetted PSWs and companions for people living at home and for people living in retirement residences. A care coordinator can visit, understand what your parent needs, and help you see what care at home would actually involve. See companionship, personal care and in-facility companion care.
Questions families ask
How do I check whether a retirement home is licensed in Ontario?
The Retirement Homes Regulatory Authority (RHRA) has an online database where you can confirm that a home is licensed and read its recent inspection reports.
Is a retirement home the same as long-term care?
No. Retirement homes are privately owned and paid for by residents, who are usually more independent. Long-term care is for people who need nursing care around the clock, and you apply through Ontario Health atHome.
Can someone in a retirement home still get home care?
Yes. Retirement home residents keep full access to publicly funded health care and can also pay outside providers for extra care.
Can home care provide activities and social time, not just personal care?
Yes. A companion can plan activities around what your parent enjoys, such as games, music, conversation and outings. Ask the agency how it builds and adjusts that plan.
Can a companion take my parent to a day program?
A companion can go along to an adult day program, take part with your parent and help them settle in. In some cases the companion can also drive. Ask the agency how transportation works and what it covers.
Sources
Moshe started RightKind Care after his own family needed extra help at home. He writes these guides so other families have the plain answers he wished he had. Read his story →
